


Cookie Monster

by EdgeLady



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Body Horror, Cookies, Don't copy to another site, Jack is a monstersexual, M/M, Other, Tentacles, but can you blame him?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 12:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgeLady/pseuds/EdgeLady
Summary: Jack wants to make a good impression at his new job, so he bakes some cookies for his coworkers.But they just keep disappearing, no matter how hard he tries.Written for the Tentacles in the Conference Room R76 Office Monster AU collaboration.





	Cookie Monster

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't even fucking know. I blame the crazy (and crazy talented) people on the R76 Creators Club discord server. Check out the collection for more information on this collaboration project. This is supposed to be silly. Don't @ me.

Jack’s first day was on a Friday, and he spent most of that day doing HR paperwork and meeting his coworkers (including his _very_ interesting cube neighbor).

Feeling good about his new place of employment, Jack took the weekend to clean his apartment, read a book, and think far too much about his eldritch coworker. He _really_ wanted to get know Gabriel better, so he actually couldn’t _wait_ to get back to work on Monday. And honestly, he wanted to make a good impression, so Sunday afternoon he pulled out his nana’s secret chocolate chip cookie recipe and spent the rest of that day in the kitchen.

Nothing beat Nana’s cookies. They were always a crowd pleaser. He silently hoped Gabriel could eat them. What _did_ an eldritch tentacle beast eat anyway? Was sugar even ok? He hoped so!

On Monday he arrived at the office early and set the tray of cookies out in the break room with a tent card that read: _Thanks for the warm welcome! –Jack_

His boss had left him important reading material in his inbox, so Jack went back to his cube and zoned out for about an hour, pausing only to call out a greeting to Gabriel when he heard his cube neighbor arrive. He received a rumbling of a reply that made him smile happily, but then he was back to being deeply focused. Later he was pulled into a meeting with his manager.

It was lunch time before he was able to get back to the break room and people greeted him politely along the way, but no one said anything about the cookies. Weird. He half expected to find out that he worked in an office full of diabetics and that all the cookies were still on the tray but when he arrived tray, cookies, and even the note were all gone.

Faintly puzzled but taking it as a good sign that there was nothing left, Jack took his lunch outside to get some air and sun, as well as a quick walk around the block, before it was back to the grind. By the end of the day, despite multiple meetings with various people on the floor, no one had mentioned the cookies.

Ok then, maybe he had to do better. Challenge accepted.

 

* * *

  

On Tuesday he brought in more cookies, this time made from his nana’s secret oatmeal cranberry recipe, and he made a few additional chocolate chip ones for those heathens that didn’t like oatmeal. Luckily he had another tray at home to put them on, although much to his confusion, he found Monday’s tray sitting on his desk that morning, perfectly clean. Well at least someone had wiped it down for him.

He was busy all day Tuesday but the cookies were gone from the break room when he went there for lunch, and by the end of the day no one had said anything _again._

Let no one say that John Francis Morrison, son of John Arnold Morrison, was a quitter.

On Wednesday he brought in Nana’s coconut macadamia cookies, with some white chocolate macadamia cookies for those that didn’t do coconut.

Cookies gone. No one said a word. When no one was looking, Jack surreptitiously glanced into the trash can in the break room, wondering if perhaps some vindictive diabetic was tossing them. They weren’t there.

 

* * *

 

 He outdid himself for Thursday with Nana’s Top Secret sugar cookie recipe complete with homemade frosting in bright red and pink and white, and this time he vowed to catch his rude coworkers in the act. Well, not _totally_ rude, he supposed; whoever was eating or throwing away the cookies was at least cleaning and returning his trays every morning. But honestly, would it _kill_ them to say something?

He’d been so busy all week learning the ropes that he’d barely had time to interact with his cube neighbor. He ought to mention the cookie conundrum to Gabriel. Maybe the eldritch monster would have some insight.

Plus it was an excuse to actually talk to his noodle-y neighbor, because Gabriel had been rather quiet all week and hadn’t really spoken to Jack hardly at all. Jack _had_ noticed some rumblings, groaning and rather wet smacking sounds coming from the neighboring cube, which he thought were really quite endearing and adorable. The noises kind of made him blush. _Okay they made him blush furiously_.

He put the cookie tray in the break room as usual and retreated to his cube. He had some emails to take care of and he didn’t even look up from his work for some time, getting lost in what he was doing. He vaguely remembered hearing Gabriel arrive and he called out a greeting, but it wasn’t until almost an hour after that that he suddenly remembered he’d been meaning to monitor the break room as people arrived for the day. _Fuck._

Jack grabbed his coffee cup from nearby before he hurried out of his cube and down the hall to the break room. But he was too late. The cookie tray was gone. Letting out a hiss of frustration, Jack spun around on a heel, forgetting about his coffee, and stormed back towards his cube. Uggh, people! Honestly!

“Hey, Gabriel,” he said, bypassing his own cube. He didn’t even pause at the cute little groans that made the overhead lights dim and flicker, even if he did unconsciously blush. “Man, you would not believe—”

He had just rounded the corner of the puke-pink cube walls and paused in the opening beyond when his breath caught in his throat. A wet black mass filled the majority of the cube, and what looked like dozens of tentacles—just how many could Gabriel conjure anyway and how could Jack find out for science—waved about in the air with excitement. Each tentacle’s end was wrapped around one of Nana’s Top Secret sugar cookies. There were traces of red and pink and white frosting dotting a good deal of the shadowy mass, and the various crimson eyes that all turned to him at least had the decency to blink in guilt all at once.

Jack’s sky-blue eyes flickered to the desk, taking note of the nearly empty tray, most of Nana’s cookies gone. Then he looked back into Gabriel’s eyes. They stared at one another for a long moment.

“You are a baking god,” Gabriel blurted out suddenly in a deep rumble. “I will cherish you forever if you will just bake cookies all the time.”

Jack felt the heat rush to his face, and down his neck, and probably to his chest under his suit. It took him several minutes—during which at least three of the cookies disappeared into Gabriel’s mouth despite the still-guilty eyes blinking at him—before he could formulate an answer.

“I’m really … really… glad you like them,” Jack finally managed with a calmness he didn’t feel. He jerked a thumb back towards his cube. “Hey, uhh... I have a meeting soon.”

“Okay,” Gabriel rumbled. “See you later, Jack.”

He turned slowly and walked away. He made it back to his own cube before the elation in his chest burst out.

Jack dabbed.

 

* * *

  

When Gabriel came in on Friday morning he found a tray of cookies waiting on his desk, wrapped in pink cellophane and tied off with fancy curled red ribbon.

He made happy rumbling wet sounds for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> Higo (@Higo115), who is the mastermind behind the office monster AU, made an awesome gif that goes with this chapter! <3 <3
> 
> https://twitter.com/Higo115/status/1096746776046891010


End file.
